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Miss Scarlet, in the bedroom, with an axe. [entries|friends|calendar]

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[22 Jan 2006|01:40pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I was in an old Victorian-style house that had a huge chunk of it sheared away, so the living room was maybe three quarters there, and then there was the outdoors. There was a long wooded staircase that went up, to a room that was attatched to the top of the stairs. I was a kid again and there were all sorts of horrible dirty hick children running around, the sort of children I couldn't stand when I was little (or now); dirty faces, bare feet, running around packs like wild animals.
There was broken glass everywhere. Suddenly I was older again and I had glass stuck in me. There were flat pieces of broken glass in my mouth and embedded in my tongue. When I moved my tongue I could feel them clacking together. I wasn't hurt in my mouth, but I was afraid I would swallow a piece. Shards were stuck in my legs and one big piece had gone into my foot from the bottom. I kept trying to work it out from there but it had gone in sideways and was about 2" deep into the sole. Marilyn Monroe was there all of a sudden, and she was acting a little slow and doped, I kept trying to protect her from the glass pieces but she was in a dreamy state, and not really paying attention.
Then I was in an old department store from the 1920s, it ended in a railway station. There were checkout counters (with modern cash registers), and then behind those there was a platform and then train tracks. I wanted to browse through the store, but everything was very expensive, and when I tried to focus on an item it got all blurry and hard to see. I stepped down onto the train tracks, and walked along a dark tunnel until I came to a neighborhood of narrow pastel houses that were all smooshed together. Each one was maybe only ten feet wide. All of a sudden my mom was there with me, and she was joking about how they hadn't heard from one of the older men who lived in one of the houses, and maybe he was dead. She opened the door to the house, and we both jerked back. right up against the door was a whimsical plush sofa with the man on it, greenish and dead. 'Just close the door', I kept telling her, and she did and we took off. The inside of the house had been very disturbing to look at, everything was slightly cartoon-y, and everything was crushed together, like it had been a regular sized house and then all the extra space had been removed from it somehow.

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[24 Nov 2005|07:56am]
I haven't been recording my dreams, that is very bad. Here is what I remember from last night.
I was in a dark area, possibly underground, up above there were flashes of blue and purple light, and all around there was rotted cloth hanging in tatters and exposed dark metal pieces of the place's framework poking out. In the darkness I could see what looked like random shapes at first, but when I looked closer I saw they were old movie props and halloween costumes and decorations. I was looking for a Halloween costume and found a gorgeous one, a pirate wench costume [much like the one I'd been looking at online from Trashy last night when I was awake, here: http://shop.trashy.com/index.php?s=product&set_id=5561 Damn I wish I had money for it!]. Brittany was there, and she had already been out Trick-or-Treating, but she was going to go out again with me because I'd missed the Halloween party she had invited me to. She was putting together a retro hippy-ish costume, and it was horrible, she had corduroy pants and a brown wig with an awful texture to it, and an odd glittery purple peace-sign necklace. It was a weird costume, and she looked odd in it, like she was an illustration of a person instead of a real person. It disturbed me. We went into another area to go trick-or-treat in, and all of a sudden her costume was gorgeous, it was the most beautiful vintage-y embroidered peasant-y hippy outfit ever, and my outfit was awful, it was made out of cheap light purple cotton and resembled a 'sexy waitress' halloween costume you might get from an adult shop (except for the fact that it was a solid light purple color). I wasn't upset, because I felt we were even, I had the ugly costume now, she had it before. We went out and knocked on elongated dumpster-like metal structures that were painted bright primary colors, and people gave us odd candies.

I should mention that a black guy came in my work today dressed in a light purple suit and light purple fedora-type hat, and that really, really bothers me, because my dream seems to have forshadowed it. I don't live in an area where men where match-y match-y pimplike suits, and it was the same color as the one in my dream. WHY?
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[01 Oct 2005|12:00am]
In my dream, the sky was dark and close, like it was really only a roof very high up instead of an actual sky. I was the adopted or perhaps step- daughter of a vile woman who was heavily into frosted makeup and ugly pastel business suits. She had a younger daughter who was fat and blond, there was some memory of having tried to kill her at some point in the past, maybe that was why the woman didn't like me.
I had a horse in a fenced in area, and every now and then I would stop whatever I was doing and check on him. At one point I was talking to some people who were stereotypes from a '40's detective novel, and when I left them to check on my horse, he wasn't there.
I confronted the woman and it turned out she had sold him to an animal testing lab, they let a bee sting him (!...?) and she'd been given 610$ for it. I made her return the money (she wrote out a check) and then I had my horse back and he'd never been stung by a bee.
I rode the horse around in the dark for a while and stopped to talk to various people I don't remember well, and I somehow ended up walking around the nearly pitch-black halls of a hospital. It was sort of a cross between a rotted old grand hotel and a hospital (both with barely any light), because some of the halls had crumpling velvet wallpaper and broken metal wall sconces, and the whole place smelled musty and wet.
I went into a room where a black man was lying on a hospital bed, naked but draped with a sheet from the waist down. His back was toward me, a light was shining on him, like a spotlight because the rest of the room was quite dark, and a big magnifier on a stand was postioned so it was in front of his back.
He was involved in the police department, I knew this somehow.
A young man came into the room, he was wearing either a cape or a cloak, so it looked like he was just a head and black cloth falling down to the floor from that... the shape of his body under the black cloth wasn't right, like he had no arms. He DID have arms, because he reached out from under his cloth and was going to inject the man on the hospital bed with a syringe. I got between them to stop him (I don't know why, I didn't have the impression that anyone would've been harmed) and he accidently jabbed me in the wrist instead.
The needle stuck int eh bone of my wrist, below my thumb, and stood there until I jerked it out. I was bleeding, but the blood was like it was dripped onto me, instead of coming out of me. I kept licking it off and sucking on the area and trying to see where the needle hole was.
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[26 Sep 2005|08:53pm]
Well, I have't posted any dreams in a while, so I figured I should get back to using this journal for that purpose. I regret making them all friends only now, when I 'm not logged on, and I want to read one for whatever reason, it's a pain. Yes. I'm lazy.
So I guess I can start making them public, and make the old ones public a few at a time. I'm trying to practice drawing more, andam using various dreams as subjects every now and then.
The only dream I remember having in the past few weeks was disturbing:
I was nursing two dead babies, their skin was grayish white and they were cold and their arms and legs were limp, but their mouths were sucking. I had extra arms apparently, because I was holding them to my chest and at the same time using my arms for whatever other things. Throughout the dream I was disgusted by them, and kept thinking I had to get them removed, as if they were just unpleasant growths.
Eventually I got rid of them, but I passed them to someone else, and she was stuck with them. I felt vaguely guilty about that.
Towards the end of the dream, I was looking into a new apartment, and the light was dim and gray-green, but I liked the place, and was thinking about moving the cats in.
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[12 Sep 2005|11:05pm]
[ mood | amused ]

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[26 Jul 2005|08:54pm]
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[26 Jul 2005|08:51pm]
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[23 Jul 2005|04:36pm]
II was huddled in some sort of underground basement world, and people were turning into flesh-eating zombies. Also, from time to time there would be a War-of-the-Worlds-esque alien sieren sound, and everyone would get nervous. At one point, I tried telling Russ something and I called him 'Dad'. He didn't respond, and I kept trying to tell him something, but my throat seemed clogged and I just got out a harsh rasping sound each time. Finally, when he wouldn't acknowledge my trying to get his attention, I muttered 'bastard' and walked out of the room I was in. In the next room, I talked to Jon and tried to think of whether we reffered to Russ as 'Dad' or not. It seemed normal when I was calling him it, but afterwards, no.
Mom came into the room a short time later and was being a complete bitch, saying I could leave next month, and I argued back and forth with her, and from time to time I would hit her in the head, or push her out of my way, but it didn't phase her a bit. Then she got really nasty and was saying stuff like, I bet you fucked your brother. I was so angry at her, and she had such an evil, spiteful grin on her face, it was awful.
I left the area and then was talking with some other people. A man who looked like Captain Spaulding got bit on the arm, a chunk taken out, and turned to a zombie, but other times he was normal. THe ceiling of the place we were in was leaking. Drops of water sweating out of the sagging white palster ceiling. We discussed- did we dare to go up above ground yet? I wanted to check out the old house we were under. I thought it must be so flooded, the was our ceiling was sagging and leaking.
We crawled out of a hole in the ground, and the ground was loose and crumbly dirt and grass. I crunched on leaves and twigs as I crawled out.
Outside, there were old, weathered, severely weathered Victorian-type homes. They were scattered here and there, with no roads or paths separating them, just like someone up high has set tehm down randomly.
I crept along the side of the one we'd been under, and peeked inside. The inside was dark, and up to the window it seemed to be filled with an olive-brown-dark gray colored mud mixed with dead plant matter. I climbed up the porch and to the second floor, where I got in through a window. Several others were with me, an dhtey agreed to search different areas.
Inside, the light from outside poured in through the windows. It was quiet and dry inside, and along many of the walls there were armoire/ hutch/ curio cabinet type pieces of furniture filled with the most wonderful things. There were also little shelves and tables scattered here and there, and stacks of crumbling old books, one set was printed on black paper in a rusty colored ink. There were sparkley bits of jewelry, costumes drapped over old chairs, and wonderful vintage toys. It was all very quiet,a nd all very dry and dusty. THe floorboareds were old and creaky. I went downstairs and it was much like the upstairs, and there was no mud or flooding.
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[22 Jul 2005|09:24pm]
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[17 Jul 2005|11:18pm]
We were outside a towering hotel, it was all mirrored windows with a gold color to them. Around it was a huge empty (of cars) parking lot, and lots of people were milling about, and forming lines at tables set up here and there. To get a free Pullip (she was blond and dressed in orange and yellow), you had to show an ID which was laminated in plastic and worn around the neck. A woman with a black mohawk (but not of hair, it appeared to be made of a thick chunk of felt, almost black-board eraser-like in texture), ripped mine off the necklace thing it was on and got my Pullip. I followed her and tried to confront her but she kept ignoring me then finally denied it. I found someone with extra IDs, but then felt guilty when I got three Pullips instead of one.
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[16 Jul 2005|04:52pm]
The dream started out with my being in an old house, one storey high, with wood floors and no electricity. Despite that, there were quite a few luxurious touches here and there: big mirrors, gorgeously upholstered chairs and sofas, little metal statues here and there, etc.. I walked in from the low wooden porch, and there was one main room that should have been a living room, but there was a huge anopy bed in the middle of it. Sitting on teh bed was a little woman who was supposed to be Kate Moss, but it didn't look like her. She was wearing some sort of gauzey white Indian (India, not Native American. Heh.) dress with silver embroidery and beading. She had a baby with her, it was maybe a year old, but small. THe baby had an older face, with big dark eyes, resembling a skinny three year old maybe, and long silky dark hair htat was pulled back into a bun at the base of her skull. She was wearing a similar outfit to her mother.
Mom was there, and she said Kate wanted to buy some of the things we were getting rid of, and she pointed them out to me. I don't remember all, but there were prints of black birds in square frames, the frames being square and wide (about four inches perhaps) and made of orangish pink silk with padding behind it.
The baby waved her arms up and down to get attention, and made an angry crying squawking sound, and her mother picked her up to calm her down. Right away the baby was smiling again, and I made some comment like, 'She wasn't really upset, was she?', and the mother said, very calmly, 'Yes, she was.".....it seemed there was a hint of snobbery, contempt or whatever in her voice, so I left, disgusted, down a hallway to the left of the front door.
THe next part in the dream involved being on a tour of Willy Wonka's factory, but it was underground, and the people on the tour with me kept changing. To travel between exhibits in the factory, which were corsses between piles of junk and machinery and old carnival houses, there were slides, wide (14' or so) slick plastic roads that went up as well as down, with many bumps and dips. YOu sat down on the end, and a minute later would begin sliding forward, slightly slower than going down a real slide. THe whole part was confusing, and I eventualy met up with several middle-aged Chinese women, and we took a truck out of there, to some rural area that made me think of small towns in Pennsylvania.
One woman was rambling on and on about how she came to America, and since I was somehow related to her all of a sudden in the dream, I felt obligated to at least pretend I was listening. We got out of the truck and walked to the edge of a forest, where between the trees it was just a snarl of thorny bushes, and she took a long, straight stick and stuck it into an exceptionally thick tangle of branches. She said it was a ritual she had been participating in with her family every day, for hundreds of years, since she came to America (?!!). She pulled the stick out and the tip was covered with blood and gory chunks, bright red. She licked the tip delicately, and offered it to me. I took off running down a nearby dirt road.
I somehow understood it that there was some undead person in the tangle of branches, trapped there. I didn't know the purpose of the ritual, but I figured the creture was insane by now, or at the very least extremely pissed off.
Everything skipped and I was in the back of some redneck's truck, driving down the dusty road fast. I don't know if I had jumped on or if they were letting me ride there. We passed by a field, almost hidden from the road by high bushes, and there were several people there, erecting some sort of crude hot air balloon, sewn out of fabric, in the shape of a bride. I screamed up front to the driver, 'That's HIDEOUS!!!!!!', and they made some offhand remark about it being for a festival. We were stopped by the town sheriff, and several members of the police force tied my wrists and ankles and put me in a police cruiser, and drove back to the forest where the undead thing was trapped. They set me in the grass in front of the woods and went to get sticks to push aside the branches with. I had a small knife tucked in the top of one of the thigh-high stockings I was wearing all of a sudden (? Along with a long white lacey nightgown, before that I'd been wearing jeans and a grubby green tee shirt), and I was able to cut through the ropes I was tied with. I ran away, towards a filthy old pickup truck. I got inside, and there was a German Shepherd police dog there, I was afraid it would bite me, so I somehow skipped to a point where it was outside and I had all the windows rolled up and the doors locked. The police were running back from getting sticks, and noticed I'd gotten to the truck, and at the same time the thing in the forest was somehow getting free. I cracked open the steering column with my little knife (snapping the blade off in the process) and was messing with wires, trying to remember which of the red or yellow wires to touch together, while outside the undead creature was tearing apart the police. The windows to the truck were smeared with blood, and I only caught flashes of the creature, which was white and skinny. Arms and legs and severed heads kept hitting the truck, and the noises were making me too nervous to figure out the wires, so again I somehow skipped forward to where I was driving the truck very fast in reverse, away from the men being torn apart (the windows were clearer now and I could see the bodies here and there in the grass). I whipped the truck around and got back on the dirt road, and then I woke up.
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[15 Jul 2005|09:49pm]
I was in our old house on Atwells Ave, looking out of the pantry window. There was an old piece of furniture in the back yard, like a wooden hutch or a desk with a bookcase back, and it looked like a madman had built up on it, adding cabinets and drawers and useless angles and pieces of wood, shingles and stairs, until it was this rambling piece of useless monster furniture. It was crawling with kittens and cats, they looked less than real somehow, like illustrations almost. Out of a few drawers several squirrels were peeking out.
The backyard ground was wet, like dark gray mud, with pools of dark gray paintwater here and there. There were bulldog-type dogs lying in the pools, covered with the dirty color of the water, and I was afraid they would drown.
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[15 Jul 2005|09:47pm]
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[15 Jul 2005|09:46pm]
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[05 Jul 2005|09:46pm]

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[05 Jul 2005|09:12pm]
A very disorienting dream, maybe four days ago. Looking outside from the side porch, and there were red and blue sparks far away in the sky. The entire sky itself was white-gray, in an overcast sort of way. As I looked up, watercolor, in black and gray and rusty brown, flooded down into the sky in the distance from above. The colors swirled and bled out more and more into the surrounding material of the sky. I ran inside to call 911 (!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH !!!!!!!!!) but couldn't speak when I tried to tell them what was happening, and then the voice on the line was speaking in complete gibberish/ insanity.
This happened for several times, after the fourth time or so, I knew the color would be flooding into the sky before it happened, so I ran around to the back, where I thought there was some sort of cook out going on. As I ran around the house I met up with a rush of people evacuating the area. I spoke to a red haired Viking and his blonde bikeresque wife, but don't remember what we talked about. Once everyone had gone by, I went to the back of the house, where the ground was gray and steaming, and went down on a sharp slope before hitting a wall that went on forever. There were creatures, vaguely humaniod, and their skin was a cream color, tinted here and there (very faintly) with hints of pink, fluorescent orange, and gray. They had rusty red and brown stripes, and the overall impression of their skin was that it was made up of tiny, tiny, very fine scales. They were hunched over as though they should walk on all fours, but they clutched their front legs/ arms to their chests for the most part. The faces had long snouts, insane eyes, and a lumpy texture, like poorly healed severe burns.
I avoided the creatures, but one kept trying to talk to me, and whenever it did, I felt pity and guilt.
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[19 Jun 2005|09:34pm]
There was some disturbing connection to Star Wars characters (old ones, I've never seen the new ones), and some of them may have been among the ones helping me secure openings in one of Craftmart's sub-basements (Craftmart has no basements, but it was a dream). Little hairy rusty squat and angry people lived in the basement, they were maybe two feet high and chunky, and they were made out of some material other than flesh. Huge tan dry looking spiders were coming out of rusty grates set in the wall and grabbing the little people, so we had to seal them up. After a while I grew sick of the little people's comments of how we weren't doing the job right, and I wandered up out of the basement to some sort of lobby where there were many people milling about. It was almost a combination lobby/ train station. The area was gray and dimly lit, the carpet on the floor was a nubby dirty-looking gray. There was a big elevator there, and I got on. I was the only one on it, and I rode up..... it was a lot like the elevator at the Phoenix Art Museum.
Upstairs, I was in what appeared to be a large but old fashioned department store. The signs were in a style that made me think 1940s, and many were faded, and taped to displays with yellowing, faded tape. There were still a lot of people around, and in some spots there was a feel of shopping during Christmas, and in others there was a feeling of a mass evacuation. Here, the lights were flickering and out completely in some places. I wandered around, and somehow began searching through racks and racks of cosmetics for the perfect lipstick color, apparently a red, a dark red, but if I didn't like the name on the tube, I didn't care if the color was perfect. Everything had to be perfect. I went slightly mad smearing on makeup, using little mirrors on the displays, and I didn't look like myself, I don't know who I looked like in the mirrors. Somehow, along the way, I became covered in fine red glitter, and then somehow I was in a formal gown, made out of some fabric that alternated between black and red depending on the lighting, it felt like it was made out of rough, raw silk. So now I had some sort of event to go to, and I had to search for the lipstick even faster. I was getting frustrated and throwing things. I ended up at a checkout counter, and it was very, very dark there. Behind it, people were going down an escalator, all crammed in and carrying their belongings. I felt something in my mouth, and a horrible white and black bug, all hideously plump and waxy looking, with big eyes and an unformed look to it fell from my lips into my hand. I wasn't upset, and I felt more in my mouth. THe feeling was too real, really, really lucid. One between my upper front teeth and my gums, one on my tongue and in the side of my mouth.
I don't know what happened next, but all of a sudden I was in another corner of the place, and I'd forgotten about the lipstick, and the bugs, and the event I had to go to. People were still moving in the background, but it was all very quiet. I was fascinated by a display in front of me of latex animals on sticks. A lot reminded me of the animals in 'Happy Kitty Bunny Pony'. Cute yet vaguely disturbing/ sinister. There was a rabbit with a wrinkled face, yellow and black painted highlights and rolled eyes. It looked utterly insane. I looked at the crumbly yellow price tag and it was some outrageous amount. A voice near my ear said, 'look at the two inch incisors. Think of how much it would sell for on Ebay. A true collectors item in fact.' I reached up and pet the front teeth, and they were one solid fused tooth, and they had the horrible feel of an old rubber Halloween mask. I walked around the display and looked at some Santas on a stick, and then I found a melted looking deer, with a cone underneath it on the stick (wide part up) and a smaller yellow wood stick on a string attached to the inside of the cone. The deer was also the same old latex-y material, and it was painted in bright yellows and reds. I tried tossing it upwards, then trying to catch the smaller stick in the cone, but the deer got in the way, and I put it back on the shelf.
That was weird, and one of the more lucid dreams I've had in a while, and I am trying to draw a picture about it, and how the dream made me feel.
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[31 May 2005|09:37pm]
I was passing through a wall, sort of leaning back into it, and it was an effort and I felt a pressing sensation all around me. THe other where I was outdoors, by a small dirt area to the side of a road at night. I was crouching down, picking these lumps of polished-looking rose quartz off the ground. They had shapes like if a bunch of grapes was dipped over and over into wax, so it was all one solid lump with little lumps all over it. I cracked them open, and inside were lumps of candied ginger, streaked with solid gold. I was peeling off pieces of ginger, and there was sugar everywhere, and the gold parts were soft just like the candied ginger.
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[29 May 2005|09:38pm]
There were hills and mountains of junk and rubble, and the colors were grays and oily blacks. Steam rose here and there from the ground, and I was climbing piles of broken asphalt slabs, finding small pockets here and there of my childhood belongings floating in dirty, scummy water. I was with several other people, and I broke off from the group when they began discussing someone's upcoming wedding. I walked until I came to one of the walls bordering the giant room (eh. So I guess it didn't go on forever)... along the wall was a clearing, like a valley in the rubble mountains, and the ground there was black and gritty and it all smelled horribly chemically and like something was burning. There was a rusty ladder that stretched up high into the shadows, and around it there were several Nosferatu-esque undead, wearing tattered clothes that were filthy but at the same time incredibly bright. I want to say they were wearing primary colors, but I can only remember one wore red and one wore yellow. Maybe the colors seemed so bright because everything else was so dark and drab. I climbed up the ladder, and up high was a sort of decaying metal walkway attached to the wall, which was more and more rock-like the higher up I went.
I came to an opening in the wall, it was like a cave, and there the rock was a warm, sandy color. Looking inside, I saw machinery, like pumps and things, going around a corner. Ryry was there, and I was worried he'd get hurt, so I went in part of the way and grabbed him. I was afraid to go in, I used to get trapped for all eternity in small spaces quite often in dreams. But I reached for him and grabbed him. And then there was another Ryry, so I grabbed him, too. ANd then there were other cats, Meme and Tommy and Pookie, all alive again and in a place that wasn't safe, and I reached for them and pulled them out, and I had my arms full of cats, some I'd never seen before. And even though there were more cats, I backed out of the cave area onto the metal walkway and set the ones I had in my arms down. I looked back into the cave and Bastet came from around the corner, and She looked odd, like a negative image but all in the same tan color as the rock of the cave. I stared for a second, I felt frozen but then I made myself bow down, and she said I didn't have to do that, but I knew that if I hadn't she'd have been furious. I went into the cave with her, and around the corner was a small kitchen, with a sink like the Raggedy Ann play sink I used to have, but bigger, and a set of Miss Priss ceramic blue-cat kitchenware on shelves. It was so warm and cozy, and it was the oddest sensation to be in an area I had been terrified of a moment before, and to be so comfortable and secure there.
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[22 May 2005|09:39pm]
I was buying these candy things we sell at my work, a gob of chocolate and cherry crap, I think I was in a doctor's waiting room, and I looked at the candy and all of a sudden it was enlarged by about 100x in front of me, like I was looking at it under a low-powered microscope or something. And there was another part where a woman was giving birth to full-grown badgers, they were just dropping out from under her skirt, and a hideous little deformed dwarf woman was attending to her.
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